The Raider-Hater's Realization

 So after the most embarrassing loss of the season (so far), the Chiefs make the change to Brady Quinn, bringing an end to the frustrating Cassel Era. Also, the flimsy rumors about the Chiefs offering Pioli a contract extension, at exactly his lowest point of fan popularity, have all been vehemently denied by the organization. On top of these nuggets of good news, we have a winnable game against the always fun-to-hate Raiders at Arrowhead this week. So, are you excited?

I can tell what you're thinking, and I know. I know, I know, I know. The season's over, the team sucks and they should just keep losing so we can draft a real quarterback next year. How can I be excited about this crappy team? How can I even be expected to care?

Well, truth is that I'm not here to spread hope and joy. I'm not a professional, I'm just a fan, and I'm just as upset as all the other fans. My objective today isn't to fart rainbows into your morning coffee- not only because that sounds really gross and frightening, but also because I'm fully aware of how hopeless this season feels. But even after such disappointment, there is reason to be excited for this game. Problem is, the reason to be excited is, itself, disappointing.

By now, you've either noticed a lot of Chiefs fans that want the team to suck in order to improve the draft position, or you've become on of them. Whether you want the team to lose enough to pick up Geno Smith next year, or you're holding onto hope and still rooting for a wild card spot, you'll soon be disappointed. The simple truth is, this team has way more talent than the average NFL bottom-feeder, and winning a few more games is inevitable. The Chiefs still have two Raiders games on their schedule, as well as home games against the Panthers and Colts, and a very winnable game in Cleveland. With a schedule like that, they'd have to be trying to lose in order to avoid three or four more wins. That puts the Chiefs at 4-12, at worst. Other teams with tougher schedules will have worse records than that by season's end, putting them ahead of Kansas City in drafting order. That means no Barkley, no Geno, no elite quarterback for the Chiefs next year.

That's right folks- the Chiefs will even suck at sucking. Doesn't it all sound like a bad joke? Cheering for KC is so awful that they can't even make us happy when we want them to be terrible. So, why be excited about a meaningless game against two awful teams in the middle of hopeless seasons? Because an exciting game against a hated rival is all we're going to get, and hope is still a distant speck on the horizon. There will be no losing hard enough to ensure getting our pick at QB next year, and with Cassel being benched that means it's time for some *gulp* rebuilding with a new, mediocre quarterback.

This is assuming Scott Pioli won't trade up in the draft, which to some would seem like an unfair assumption. Many have hope, even automatic confidence that he'll make moves to get the #1 or #2 quarterback in the draft. I'd love to have that kind of faith, but until Pioli employs anything more than his usual boring, conservative tactics, I'll keep on assuming. So now, we're talking about these Jason Campbell, Matt Flynn, Kevin Kolb kind of guys that are happy to be starting anywhere, so long as they aren't the guy holding the clipboard. That may be fun for a while, but it will be a Band-Aid on a bullet wound to the stomach. So, let's just sit back and enjoy the aura of mystery surrounding Brady Quinn this week. Savor that new QB smell for a moment, before he explains to us all why he failed to win a starting job anywhere else. For this week, he gets the Rich Gannon treatment. It's all the fans' what-if's and pipe dreams, suddenly becoming a reality. With little to root for these days, that should be something we can all embrace and enjoy, at least for a day. Because, who knows? Maybe he's the guy, this determined, studious 1^st round draft pick. There's no knowing for sure until he gets a chance, and today is the day he gets it. So yeah, there's reason to be excited. Hope is gone, but today there's potential for some serious entertainment. Isn't that all you can hope for, after the games become technically pointless because all hope is gone? So please, appreciate the game this afternoon, and don't let this cloud of disappointment ruin today's entertainment. It's the Raiders at Arrowhead and we've got a new QB. Enjoy it.

Until then, let's take a closer look at today's competition- the Joker to our Batman, the Ivan Drago to our Rocky Balboa, the reviled, revolting Raiders.

This Oakland team is erratic and unpredictable. With a competent quarterback to run the show, the Raiders offense is clearly more potent than it's been in prior years. Their offense is 9th league-wide in passing yards, but their rushing attack is second to last behind Darren Mcfadden. Oakland's offense showed potential in their 34-31 win against Pittsburgh, in which Palmer completed 70% of his passes for 3 TDs and Mcfadden averaged 6.3 yards a carry. But, they showed inconsistency in Miami, where Mcfadden had 11 carries for 22 yards, and Denver, where the Raiders scored only two field goals. Their secondary is struggling, their rushing defense ranks near the middle of the pack, and the defense has mustered only 7 sacks in 6 games. There is admittedly more talent in black and silver than we have seen for several years, but nothing extraordinary is happening in Oakland. New coaching, new quarterback, same old mediocrity for Raiders fans.

Usually this would be my time to poke fun, to use demeaning nicknames and make crude jokes about our bitter rivals. At this point, though, I could go to a bar in Kansas City, overhear a drunk guy talking about how his beloved Raiders suck year after year with no hope in sight, and easily mistake him as one of my own. That is the ultimate fear. Only after looking deep into the soul of your enemy can you truly understand yourself. I think some smart, famous person said that, I'm not sure, but it's applicable to this situation. Look hard at the past few years of Raiders football. Since 2007, they have 30 wins in total. Now, look at that same time-frame for the Chiefs. Go ahead, count 'em up. That's 27 wins. 27 wins in five years. Let me put it another way: the Kansas City Chiefs, UNDER SCOTT PIOLI'S COMMAND, spent the last five years sucking more than the Raiders. Hell, that's not the ultimate fear. The fear has become reality, and now it is the ultimate evidence of how awful the Pioli Regime has been for Kansas City.

A few weeks ago, following a loss against the Chargers, I shared an opinion on this blog that a particular point in that game was the worst moment for fans since Pioli took over. While that was not untrue at the time, I learned a valuable lesson from saying something that weighty so early in the season. Honestly, every moment since then has been worse. The bad play makes the constant bad breaks all-the-more jarring, and vice versa. Trying to think of a single moment so far seems pointless, but it makes me wonder; could anything be worse than a loss this week, at home against the damn Raiders? It would be bad, but at least now I'm wise enough to say that it couldn't get worse. Hopefully, this newly found wisdom will aid me this week in my commonly unsuccessful five predictions.

1. I refuse to believe this team is mentally downtrodden enough to play lazy against the Raiders. With only a few practices to prepare him, Quinn fights through a shaky defense with a wobbly offense and wins a close game, 27-23. The Chiefs defense makes a big hold late to end it, giving Arrowhead a reason to really explode for the first time this year.
   
   
2. Oakland is trying to avoid their ugly traditions by avoiding penalties and limiting turnovers. The Chiefs haven't won the turnover battle in a single game this year, and only last week against the Bucs could they keep the ratio even. Look for these disturbing trends to continue with the installment of a new Chiefs QB. Kansas City ends the day with a -2 turnover ratio, and still wins.
   
   
3. Javier Arenas is making me complain about him much less nowadays. Look for him to improve his average yardage this week with some broken tackles on punt returns. I'd still put Devon Wylie in his place, though.
   
   
4. With all the magical possibilities that come with a new starting QB, there come twice as many possibilities for disaster. Expect at least one interception from Mr. Popular today.
   
   
5. In the name of tradition, the Raiders commit at least two egregious penalties to continue drives for KC. You still suck, Oakland. Don't ever forget it.

Arrowhead Angst

 Last Sunday's game against the Chargers was an important moment in Chiefs football history. It wasn't pretty, but it was definitely important. The exact moment came with about three minutes left in the second quarter. The offense was succeeding only in giving the bad guys the ball, and the defense was getting gouged for huge pass plays. Three turnovers prior to this point, including two from the team's savior Jamaal Charles, guaranteed an uphill battle.

Then Matt Cassel throws another bad pass that's tipped for another interception, his second of three in the game. Donald Butler runs the pick back for a 21 point lead, and every heart in Chiefs Nation sinks.

This moment marked the lowest point for fans in the Scott Pioli era. Firing Todd Haley mid-season brought plenty of fear and uncertainty to a justifiably cynical fan-base, but it was matched almost immediately with hope for the future. That hope has now been extinguished with a miserable start to a critical season. By starting the year with three embarrassing losses in four games, the Chiefs have made the reality of their incompetence painfully clear.

The upcoming weeks are going to be nasty. Most of the reporting on defensive schemes and rookie progress will be overshadowed by rumors about the most important men in the franchise getting fired. Talk will shift from “Will Devon Wylie ever be a key contributor to this offense?” to “What does Romeo/Pioli/Cassel have to do to keep his job?” and then, possibly, to “Would Bill Cowher coach here?” Fans will spill their hatred out onto the forums with no remorse. The online petitions to “can Cassel” will be innumerable by season's end. And here's the worst part about all the hate: nobody can blame Chiefs fans for a second.

At some point in the coming weeks, depending on when and where Clark Hunt makes major changes, the chatter about firing this guy and hiring that guy will begin. Eventually, someone will say the two most obscene, vulgar words ever heard in Kansas City- "rebuilding process." It hurts my soul just to type such an awful phrase. The process means bad football for at least a full season. It means new coaches arguing with new coordinators, and most importantly, it means wasting the primes of this roster's most talented players. Chiefs fans have been waiting patiently through these processes since Scott Pioli's arrival. This isn't baseball- an NFL franchise cannot spend five years rebuilding without losing fans. Paramount to all other concerns is the sickening silence in Arrowhead to start the second half last week. Fans weren't exactly satisfied with the product on the field last year, but the home crowd was still rarely quiet. At least they cared enough to boo with enthusiasm.

So before everyone dives into the non-football football talk, let's take a minute to look at the game that put Kansas City in this very uncomfortable position.

Sunday's game against San Diego was not a blowout, and that is what makes it the ugliest game of the season so far. The story begins and ends with turnovers, with two fumbles from Jamaal, one from Shaun Draughn, and three interceptions from Matt Cassel. The first three turnovers, including a pick thrown by Cassel on the opening drive, came in the first 21 minutes of play and gave San Diego the ball within the KC 30. The fourth was a pick-six. What followed should have been another boring blowout, but thanks to an exhausted Chiefs defense making stop after stop, Kansas City found themselves in perfect comeback position in the second half.

This defense limited the damage from five first-half turnovers, then forced three consecutive 3-and-outs in the 3^rd quarter to give the offense great field position and several opportunities to close the gap. Then, with inaccurate passing and his signature 4 yard throws on 3^rd and long, Matt Cassel handed the ball over to Philip Rivers' offense, over and over and over again. This pattern of the offense flopping after the defense holds strong for them isn't something only an expert can see. It's the same formula for bad football this Chiefs franchise has shoved down their fans' throats all season long. And it all comes back to Matt Cassel.

Cassel has problems finding wide open receivers, and when he does, he overthrows them. He can't handle pressure and he loves to check it down on long 3^rd downs. When coaches are asked about Cassel, they spend the majority of the time politely commenting on his ability to manage the game and avoid turnovers. This year, he's guilty for 7 picks and 3 fumbles in four games. Everything about Matt Cassel makes him unqualified to lead this offense. And yet, Scott Pioli insists he's the man to take Kansas City to the Super Bowl.

After firing two head coaches and decimating the Chiefs front office, Cassel is still Pioli's Golden Boy, completely untouchable, regardless of how much he holds this team back. I'll have more on Pioli later this week; the ugly situation he's putting this entire franchise in deserves its own article. So, before I start demanding heads on pikes, let's take a look at the upcoming action on the field. If you think this tough match-up against Baltimore comes at the worst possible time, you aren't alone.

The Ravens are an evolving team, what with Joe Flacco showing huge improvement and the notoriously dominant defense growing old. Baltimore sits at 3^rd in the NFL in yards gained, and Flacco is 3^rd among all quarterbacks in total passing yards. But, the once-terrifying Ravens D is 23^rd in overall yards allowed and 29^th in passing. Unfortunately, since Cassel only trusts himself enough to consistently target two guys on the field (Bowe and Charles), that shouldn't matter much. Let's take a look at my five reasonably cynical predictions for Sunday.

1. Chiefs fans in Arrowhead can only shake their heads in shame, as Flacco burns the defense down the middle (another disconcerting trend), and Ray Lewis turns Cassel into blood-soaked, flesh-colored jelly. Maybe that last part is my repressed rage surfacing as macabre daydreams, but you get it. Chiefs lose, 37-16.
   
   
2. This game looks to be one-sided, and an early deficit will make the Chiefs way more pass-happy than anyone would like to see. This means Cassel spends the day throwing into the teeth of a cover defense while avoiding a heavy blitz on passing downs. That means turnovers. Plus, have I mentioned how Matt Cassel stares down his intended receiver every single mother-flopping time he throws the ball? Yeah, it's a problem. The Ravens have forced six fumbles and four picks already, so expect Matt to continue his crappy year with two more costly turnovers.
   
   
3. Eric Berry had an awful time covering Antonio Gates last week, and was called for blatant interference in several key moments of the game. Look for the similarly beefy Dennis Pitta to give #29 fits and record his fourth game with five receptions this season.
   
   
4. Tamba Hali gets pumped up in games like this, when all seems lost and the Chiefs are the town's laughing stock. Not even Sandra Bullock can save Michael Oher from Hali's blitz today. Tamba gets at least one sack and four hits on the quarterback.
   
   
5. I'm putting the over/under for Bowe pointing to his own name at 1.5 for the season. Since I expect a bad loss, there should be plenty of garbage time for Bowe to rack up stats, so today I'm going with over. The team's 1-3 you idiot, knock it off.

Not many uplifting predictions, I know. It's not a very uplifting season either, damn it. But if all this disappointment seems like too much to take, do me this favor:

Relax, take a deep breath, and say Ropati Pitoitua five times fast. Seriously. It helps. Don't judge me until you've said it out loud.