Dorsey and The Domino Effect

 So, another piece of the puzzle falls into place. This Monday, John Dorsey signed on to fill the confusing co-general manager position here in KC. The signing ends a long stint with the Packers, where Dorsey spent 12 years as Director of College Scouting, then earned a position as Director of Football Operations just last year. Dorsey will report only to Hunt, but for the first time in franchise history, the head coach will also report directly to the team owner. Clark explained to the press that Dorsey will have control of personnel decisions, while Andy has full control over the team on the field.

This move reunites Dorsey and Reid after they worked together in Green Bay from '92 to '97. The Packers averaged nearly 11 wins per season over that time, and never ranked lower than 6^th league-wide in total points scored. Their final three seasons together include a Super Bowl win, a Super Bowl loss, 7 playoff wins and 37 regular season wins. Those years brought some legendary moments, with Elway and Favre simultaneously playing their best football. But, as much as I love thinking back to those times, the nostalgia brings with it more proof of a very important point.

Andy Reid has a strong resume and loads of success in the NFL. That much is clear. But, his presumed expertise is the ability to engineer a pass-happy, top-shelf offense. He is generally well-respected in the league, and his reputation is strong enough to improve the resume of others around him. The NFL had enough faith in Andy to offer head coaching jobs to five coaches he hired previously. But forget about all that respect and reputation nonsense, and look at the numbers. Andy Reid is a successful coach, but he has never succeeded without an elite quarterback. In the four seasons of coaching without McNabb or Favre starting at QB, teams led by Reid average 6.75 wins in the regular season. In those four years, Andy Reid has exactly zero playoff victories.

So what does that mean? Are we screwed? Are we really back to a situation where indecision at the quarterback spot is this team's biggest flaw? Oh god, what if we sign Michael Vick? The realization of Reid's limitations brings up plenty of unnerving questions. Sadly, many of them will go unanswered until this year's draft, unless a bold move is made in the free agency market before then. But either way, I'm either gullible or wise enough to believe it will work. Even though looking at the options we have for improving at QB makes me weep softly, I think this duo will make the team a winner. There are just too many pieces, too many uber-talented skill players on the offense for Dorsey and Reid not to make something good out of it. John Dorsey earned this job by providing vital insight for the draft. His impressive list of draft choices include Aaron Rodgers, Clay Matthews, BJ Raji, Jermichael Finley, Jordy Nelson, Randall Cobb and AJ Hawk. Reid has utilized players similar to Jamaal and Bowe and Moeaki well enough to make them all Pro Bowlers. It sounds crazy, but if you take the misused offensive weapons from last year and supplement them with the first pick in every round of the draft, this team is already a winner on paper.

Obviously, all this hinges on Dorsey and Reid's communal choice of a franchise QB. Considering how quickly Mr. Hunt made his moves for coach and GM, one would assume he'll be prompt in bringing a new QB to Kansas City. The options are plentiful, but nobody stands out as a special franchise quarterback. There will be a lot of rumors and a lot of time to analyze the possibilities, especially if the team waits until this April to draft their next QB. For now, I see one option as being markedly more interesting than any other:

First, wait until the 49ers season is over, and figure out what they're doing with Alex Smith. Then, if and however we can, offer him a contract. After Smith is signed on, spend your second draft pick on Matt Barkley, who many project to fall as far as the third round. Now, you have two competent, highly motivated guys to compete for the starting job. Imagine it: in one corner is Smith, who went to the Pro Bowl this year and was then benched for an unproven young QB. At the season's end, he gets (hypothetically) cut or traded or whatever, then he ends up in Kansas City fighting against another young unproven QB to take back his starer position and avoid holding the clipboard yet again. Then, in the other corner, there's Matt Barkley. Will he finally be the USC quarterback that lives up to expectations? Will he live the rest of his life regretting coming back to college for his senior year? With all those questions weighing on him, Barkley has all the reasons in the world to succeed.

With this option, we have a Pro Bowl QB fighting for his pride against an elite college prospect with everything to prove. Sounds better than Tebow to me. At this point, I'd be happy knowing that only one of those guys will be given a chance at the starting spot next season. Are we really so down on Barkley that we'd rather see Cassel or Quinn? Again? Seriously? There's no way that can happen. So, as we keep this pie-in-the-sky idea in mind, we can only kick back and wait for the rumors to spread. We'll hear a lot of names in the next few weeks, from Matt Flynn to Geno Smith to Jason Campbell to Mike Glennon. But, amidst the plethora of options, Smith and Barkley's battle for respect still stands out as the most intriguing possibility.  

A Chance To Believe

 Hallelujah, Chiefs fans. A new era is beginning. The rebuilding process starts now, and this time, it comes with little objection from a hungry, excitable fan-base. A regime that brought only misery and broken dreams ends here, and an experienced, successful leader takes control. Like many have already said, all the credit here goes to the team's owner, who was wise enough to promptly sign the most successful coach available. In doing so, Mr. Hunt showed a commitment to keep this team relevant, and for that, he deserves every fan's gratitude.

With these inspiring changes taking place, a fan can already look back on this train-wreck of a season with less bitterness and more appreciation for historical value. Instead of holding on to a clearly outmatched coach, Mr. Hunt fired not only an unproductive employee, but a man this entire city has grown to respect on a moral level. That could not have been easy, but it was clearly necessary. Instead of playing things out in Pioli's final contract year, Clark embraced change and agreed to pay two GMs. That decision gives the franchise hope, and guarantees fans that their voices are heard. Instead of deliberating on coaches or playing things slow, Mr. Hunt decisively pinned down the best guy available and made him an offer before he could leave town. Regardless of what happens next, it should be clearly stated that Clark has made bold decisions to make this team a winner. After all, this wasn't the first time he's made an impressive, news-worthy move to keep the team relevant. Who wouldn't have been excited to hire that guy who built a dynasty in New England?

That being said, there are already reasons to limit your expectations and curb your enthusiasm. Things can always go wrong. Even if everything sucks, it can always get worse. This team sucks, and if it doesn't give Jamaal the ball often, it sucks a whole lot more. Fans and coworkers back in Philly complain about Reid's time management skills and late-game coaching decisions, as well as a frustrating rigidity in his ways. If he sticks to his old methods with the running game, and Jamaal gets his hands on the ball less often, Chiefs fans will be quick to berate him for that same stubbornness. And as always, there's more to it than just X's and O's here. Many in the league wonder if a year off wasn't the best choice for a man who just lost his son to a heroine overdose this August. All I can say is, the man knows what he wants more than anyone else, especially anyone in sports media. If devoting himself to Chiefs football is how he wishes to cope and move on, I'll be all-the-more eager to root for him and his team.

Even with the looming questions about the running game and the quarterback situation, Andy Reid already brings excitement and an heir of professionalism to the league's worst team. In his 14 years as the Eagles' head coach, Reid won his division 7 times and a playoff berth 9 times. In 2004, he led Philly to an NFC championship, losing only to the Patriots by one field goal in The Big Game. He still stands as one of only three coaches in the NFL with the title or executive power of general manager. The other two, Bill Belichick and Mike Shanahan, have five Super Bowl wins between them. Reid boasts a 130-93 regular season record in his tenure with Philadelphia- the most wins in team history. Within the same time-frame, the Chiefs have 98 regular season wins. Andy has 8 seasons with 10 or more wins in 14 years. Since the franchise's inception in 1963, the Chiefs have only done this 14 times.

So, yes, there are reasons to be cautious, but there are plenty more reasons to be excited- to be, dare I say it, hopeful. Following the worst season in team history, the Chiefs immediately fixed their two biggest problems and hired a consistent winner with playoff experience and an obvious will to push through any adversity with success. What's not to love? So remember, as we enjoy the playoffs this weekend, we get the wonderful opportunity to realistically fantasize about the Chiefs earning a Wild Card spot in 2013. We get the opportunity to hope, and we all have Clark Hunt to thank for it.

And The (Off)Season Starts With a Bang

Andy Reid met with the Chiefs today, after an immediate termination by Philly at the season's end. According to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, “the Chiefs were trying to close a deal.” Reid did not travel to Arizona later to meet with Cardinals personnel as scheduled. Mortensen continued to explain that he was “ going to be surprised if Andy Reid was not the Chiefs coach.” This sounds like inspiring news, but Chiefs fans have now learned to respond to any kind of change with cynical analysis. So, let's analyze. Here's a very unscientific list of Pro's and Con's, ordered only by which came to mind first.

PROS-

1. He's a winner- maybe not a Super Bowl winner, but a consistently successful coach with 10 postseason victories and a four-year streak of winning his division with the Eagles.
2. He's willing to embrace the league as it stands right now. The NFL is a passing league now, and the teams winning playoff games understand this. So does Andy Reid.
3. Mortensen also explained that Reid should be more willing to sign with KC than with Arizona because Clark Hunt would allow him to build the team from the ground up and take more control. Any decision to take power of out Scott Pioli's hands makes me happy.

CONS-

1. For the same reasons Reid appreciates this pass-happy era in football, he may fail to appreciate this team's most talented member. Jamaal Charles' skills  absolutely cannot be wasted. With a strong-armed, competent quarterback, Andy Reid loves to pass the ball all day. Hopefully, he knows better than to ignore the most effective tool in the new toolbox.
2. Andy Reid hitched his wagon to Michael Vick, for better or worse. If Vick is looking for a job in the coming weeks, will Andy feel obliged to make a case for him to Clark Hunt? Are Chiefs fans ready to truly accept Michael Vick, both as a franchise quarterback and as a man? Are you tired of me asking questions yet? Are you sure?

The Chiefs have picked a terrible time to be so terrible. They have the number one overall draft pick locked up, they desperately need a quarterback, and this is the worst QB draft class in years. They spent money and time and sweat on a powerhouse running game, while the rest of the league accepted rushing in its new, limited role, and embraced the now all-important pass-attack. Now, Kansas City has to quickly choose a new head coach from a list full of special teams and college coaches. The organization is dancing on the razor's edge here- if they make the wrong choice, the franchise sinks further into the abyss, but if they hesitate, they're only wasting time and frustrating fans, while competent men sign contracts elsewhere. Working out a deal with a nearly-annual playoff contender is SO far from the worst thing that could happen.

If Mr. Hunt makes the right decision and hires Andy Reid while he has the chance, I'll be right back here to excitedly see what comes next.

If he doesn't, we'll go back to the drawing board together.

UPDATE: According to ESPN, the deal is all but done. "The major decisions have been discussed and agreed upon," apparently. Stephen A Smith's already telling the world how stupid it is. Let the discussion begin.

Go Ahead and Hold Your Breath

Pardon me for sounding cynical, but this week's post won't be an unbiased look at the X's and O's of today's game in Denver, because this game is almost entirely meaningless to me. This year, Peyton's offense outscores their opponent by 10.4 points on average. This season's average Chiefs game is an 11.9 point loss. A Chiefs fan might be better off rooting for the Jaguars this Sunday, more-so than their own own team. So, let's think about the future (some more) in order to keep this topic from getting depressing.

First, a much-needed dose of positivity: Jamaal, Tamba, Derrick Johnson, and Eric Berry are all Pro Bowlers entering the primes of their careers. Unless KC wins today, overcoming a 16 point spread and the inescapable malaise of a lost season, the Chiefs will have the first pick of the draft to rebuild around. There it is again: rebuild. That dirty, dirty word. I suppose that brings us to the big pile of negativity we have left to pick away at throughout the off-season.

Well, nobody came here to read a book, so I can't even list all the problems here at once. I'll be happily going into depth about all these issues in the coming months, but for now I'll be brief in addressing the most dire and immediate needs for this franchise. I'm not breaking any news or making a lot of bold statements here; the changes that need to take place are obvious to anyone paying attention. The real question- the variables up for analysis here- aren't about whether or not they should happen. Most of the issues now revolve around the If's and the When's. The off-season is really just a different season altogether, with different players playing different games while still hoping to reach the same successful outcome. So please, before the new (off)season begins, let's just try to get our ducks in a row here.

Let's start with an easy one; Matt Cassel's starting days in KC are over. I don't need any more proof of that after seeing him holding a clipboard while a career back-up took the reigns of the offense that was built around Cassel before this season began. Management made it very clear that Cassel had to really, seriously suck to lose his starting job, and that's exactly what he did. Keeping a guy like that around doesn't seem beneficial, and Matt probably wants out at this point, too. Whether Brady Quinn is a reliable back-up is an entirely different discussion, but it's low on a very long list of priorities.

So, who's next then? Let's go ahead and assume we'll be spending that draft pick on a QB, considering that to be the most obvious hole in the team. Thanks to our league-leading volume of failure, we've nearly ensured the first pick now, so all my hypotheses about Jason Campbell and Alex Smith and Michael Vick are officially going on the back-burner. For now. There will be plenty of time to break down Geno vs. Barkley, but today I'll only say that I'm leaning towards the freakishly athletic guy with a great arm over a product of a system that churns out perennial under-achievers like hotcakes. Neither one of them has been properly tested. Neither has shown signs of being Joe Montana or Tom Brady. Neither one has even played well against elite college defenses. There are no guarantees that we'll even go for these two guys. Why not go with a proven winner like AJ McCarron from Alabama? Why not pull one of those previously mentioned veteran QBs off the back-burner, then draft Manti Te'o to play next to Derrick Johnson and terrify offenses for years to come?

There's just too many options right now for me to have a strong enough opinion on the whole thing. I know I'm supposed to figure out my opinion and explain it passionately, but what can I say? The variables are countless, and the (off)season has yet to even begin. That's my opinion. These upcoming months will be long ones for Chiefs fan, but they will also be extremely intriguing. For that, I am totally passionate. I might dare say, hopeful.

I wish I could just end the article on that note. I wish I could sit back and dream about the pieces we have here, and allow that to give me enough hope to start theorizing about next year's epic journey to the Super Bowl. The unavoidable truth, though, puts all that hope in jeopardy. None of those pieces matter if they aren't properly utilized, and that will not happen unless the second and third most powerful men in the franchise are fired. All of these variables rest in the hands of someone who may or may not be in power for a week, a month, or five years. Everything hinges on the decision to fire Scott Pioli and Romeo Crennel, and only one man can make that decision. I don't know what Clark Hunt wants to do, and I don't know if he knows what he wants to do. Every moment the new beginning doesn't come is a waste of time, so these decisions need to come quickly, just to get the whole damn organization out of football Limbo.

Coach Crennel has to go. In a business where winning means everything, the men in control of the business have to cut their losses when no proper explanation for failure has been given. I need more than just my fingers and toes to count the times Romeo told the press "I don't know" when they asked him what went wrong, following one embarrassing loss after another. That's an irreparable problem. Or rather, it's an easily fixable problem involving an irreparable relationship between a coach and his beleaguered, deflated team.

Scott Pioli is the decision-maker behind every decision you hate as a Chiefs fan. Matt Cassel was unfairly presented as a franchise quarterback, and then lambasted accordingly. That was Scott Pioli's call. The overall discomfort and inconsistency that came from changing coaches and coordinators has crippled the team beyond comprehension. Every firing and every rehiring was a choice that Scott Pioli made. Maybe I'll have lots of time to explain why he should lose his job. Or maybe, he will be fired, quickly and mercifully at the season's end, and none of my complaints will matter anymore. We as fans can only hope, as Clark Hunt sits and thinks.

The way Romeo dealt with, and will continue to deal with witnessing his own player pulling the trigger on himself is just as commendable and inspiring as anything ever witnessed in professional sports. The same goes for Scott Pioli- someone for which I simultaneously harbor venomous resentment and the utmost moral respect. Although this game is capable of inducing powerful, raw emotion, the game, itself, is emotionless. At its core, it is a business. The business plan for the Chiefs' franchise isn't working properly with either of them in their positions, so they absolutely have to go. Speaking of Romeo, I like the man, but nobody likes the product he's provided, so you won't find many people disagreeing with the sentiment to replace him. Not as many seem sure that Hunt is willing to fire Pioli that quickly. If I were in the owner's shoes, I'd feel like I'd be doing the guy a favor by letting him go. Does Pioli really want to be here? Does this embarrassment help anybody or anybody's career?

So here we are, with few answers and countless questions, waiting for the ball to drop. After the regular season's final game, that totally different game begins, but until decisions about Romeo and Pioli are made, the Chiefs organization doesn't know how to play the game. They don't even get to read the rulebook. Without making the changes, nobody knows where they want the team to go, so until the moment changes are made, they're losing the game already.

My plea to Mr. Hunt is simple: don't make the mistake of waiting any longer than the end of the regular season. If he can't make the decision as early as many fans and myself would like, it will hurt, but not as much as if he made the wrong decision and Pioli was contracted to call the shots next year. It would hurt in the short term to waste time with deliberation, but making the wrong choice means crippling the organization long into the future. I guess I'm saying if it takes too much time to change what has to be changed, but it still happens, I'll save my tears for a later time.

We would all rather see Christmas come late than not come at all.

And Then Things Got Worse

So here we are, everyone- the mid-way point of the season. Usually, I feel nostalgic and wistful, a bit sad even, at this time of the year. In years past, as I looked back at the 8 games of competitive football gone by all-too-soon, one might find me gazing longingly into the sky, trying desperately to cherish every game-winning drive and clutch defensive stop while it was all still fresh in my memory. One might even catch me in a state of semi-mourning of all the good football gone by. I can hear it now, a younger me, saying that sentence for what must have been the hundredth time-

“ Is the season really half-way over?”

There was a much different feeling about that sentence back then. It was a feeling of loss, a reminder to appreciate what you had when you had it, and it made me thrilled to see what the rest of the year had in store for my beloved Chiefs.

It's not like that this year. Not at all. Way back in the ancient time of 2005, a guy named Trent Green had a 4,000+ yard season. Larry Johnson was turning into an elite running back, long before leaving football for a full-time career in being sleazy and offensive. Point is, there were plenty of good moments to look back on from those years. And what do I have to reminisce about this year? Every single second that resulted in a non-stop, record breaking streak of football inadequacy. You must have heard that stat by now, about the Chiefs going the longest time without a lead since 1940. The first time I heard it, I thought “Wow, that's awful. I wonder what crappy team sucked harder than us, back then in the freaking FDR years, a year before the attack on Pearl Harbor.” But, stupid me, turns out 1940 is actually just the time they started keeping track of that kind of stuff. There aren't any statistics for that kind of thing before 1940.

Do you get what I'm saying here? Did you catch the levity of all that? There is no record of any football team ever sucking as hard as the Chiefs have sucked this year. That is now an inarguable fact. Thanks for the memories, Pioli.

So forget looking at the recent past- let's try to be optimists here, and look into what could go right in the upcoming future. It's time for me to start tackling all the what-ifs and fan hypotheses swirling about, concerning what's going to happen to this sinking ship, after the tsunami of this season is done with it. What parts of it will be salvaged, if any, and how should the full restoration be constructed? Most, if not all of these conversations and debates revolve around four broad questions:

Who will the general manager be?

Who will the head coach be?

Who will the starting quarterback be? AND

When will these changes/decisions be made?

Now, I won't try to tackle everything right now, that's crazy. That would be a book, not an article. My love for this team knows no bounds, but I think I'll save the novel for a winning season- or at least not a historically bad one. Also, spending all my positive energy to pontificate all that at once would be wasteful, not to mention exhausting. So for both of those reasons equally, I'll take on a little bit of one big topic at a time. This week, I'll look at the quarterback situation, examining one potential QB scenario at a time. If that seems lazy or half-assed, please try to remember that I have two reasons for this, and only one of them is selfish. We're going to spread the hope thinly, folks. We're running low, nowadays.

In critiquing and theorizing on these QB possibilities, I want to ask the important questions. Yeah, more questions, I know. What can I say? In a season like this, there's lots of questions, and the answers seem extinct. Just ask the coach, “I Dunno” Romeo. Anyways, in these segments I'll try to answer a series of questions regarding each prospective QB, in order to assess if he would be a good fit. Then I'll tell you whether I think he'll be a good fit or not, just to be condescending. These are, generally, the questions I'll be trying to answer:

Is he an upgrade? This basically asks if he would be better than Cassel, since I'm sticking with the worst case scenario until anything better than that actually transpires. I also don't think Quinn will/can be better than Cassel, but since we have eight more games to test that theory, the definition of this one is subject to change.

Can he take the Chiefs to the playoffs? Here, I'll make my prediction as to if the QB can take the Chiefs to a divisional title or a wild card berth, and when they could do it.

Is he/ can he be elite? A commonly used and commonly argued about term, here I'll try and predict if the quarterback can ever be one of the very best.

For today, we'll keep our expectations low and examine a scenario where next year's starting QB does not come from next year's draft. We'll keep the Geno/Barkley/Whoever talk for later in the season, when I can better gauge whether or not the Chiefs will suck enough for a top 5 draft. For now, let's take a look at a guy with starting QB experience that is en route to free agency in 2013.

Jason Campbell-

This guy's name is destined to come up often in Kansas City this year. After his appearance in this week's Sunday Night Football game, I probably wasn't the only Chiefs fan typing that name into a search-bar. And since the Bears only signed a one year contract with Campbell, he fits right into the discussion. So hey, he was a career starter until this year, right? And did you see the bomb he threw to Brandon Marshall? Can you even remember Cassel throwing a pass like that? Do you even think he can? Okay, enough questions, it's time for....shit, more questions. Sorry.

Is he an upgrade? Yes, but only by the teensiest margin. His career numbers are slightly better than Cassel's in almost every category. Cassel averages 174.3 yards a game over 76 games played. In 75 games, Campbell averages 193.5 yards a game. Matt has 56 picks and 18 fumbles to remember begrudgingly, while Campbell has recorded 50 picks and 14 fumbles. And, like I mentioned, his arm strength is an upgrade from the current QB, but I dare you to find me a guy not named Pennington that isn't. So, if we can assume Cassel is the unofficial starter for the rest of this bogus season, or we can at least assume Quinn isn't himself an upgrade at QB, this is an improvement. An itsy bitsy improvement.

Can he take the Chiefs to the playoffs? Yes, but not in one year. It would take time, but I have faith that under the right management and coaching, any middle of the road quarterback can take this core group to the postseason.

Is he/ can he be elite? No, and the same will apply to most of these guys we would hypothetically get via trade or free agency. If you want an elite quarterback, you have to draft him. Pioli.

Will he get the fans excited? More excited than seeing Cassel? Let's go ahead and assume that's automatic for everyone I discuss here. Since that shouldn't be the bar we're setting, no, this would be way too slight of an improvement to give the fans any serious hope for the future. Picking up Campbell means looking for hope in the 2014 draft. Awful.

Is he a good fit? No, but it's barely his fault. I feel like he could take a different team to do good, not great things. But, combining his lack of confidence based on a shaky history- a history that shows that he's unable to reach the upper echelons of NFL quarterback- and a mixture of the Chiefs' own inadequacies and self-loathing would give Campbell all the opportunities necessary to fail.

I'll have more prospective QBs coming up, but for now I'll end this exceedingly long post with my five predictions for tonight's prime-time match-up against the Steelers. Yep, thing should get ugly.

1. Pittsburgh has an elite defense and a Todd Haley-built passing attack that ranks 9^th in the league in yardage. The Kansas City offense is hobbling and confused, and a normally underrated defense is showing signs of either fatigue or resignation. There are also more holes in the secondary now, especially with Arenas making his first start at the #2 cornerback spot. Maybe some people think this will turn out like the Packers game last year- an unexpected win against a powerful opponent to raise morale, just when things can't get any worse. Things will get worse, trust the pattern. Chiefs lose in a blowout, 34-13.

2. Cassel will have to pass it around to avoid this harsh Steelers run defense. Expect at least three more pass plays than run plays total, which means at least two turnovers.
   
   
3. With a banged up front line, the Steelers pass rush will make things difficult all day long. Cassel gets knocked down at least 7 times, and gets sacked at least twice.
   
   
4. Edgar Jones has done serious work as a relative nobody on the special teams squad. Look for all 260 pounds of him to come barreling down the field for two more tackles on punts today. There will be plenty of punting, so he'll get his chances.
   
   
5. Jamaal Charles' head falls off his shoulders in between plays. Just falls right off. Seriously, if I once again find myself wondering what else could go wrong, fate may do it to spite me.

The Raider-Hater's Realization

 So after the most embarrassing loss of the season (so far), the Chiefs make the change to Brady Quinn, bringing an end to the frustrating Cassel Era. Also, the flimsy rumors about the Chiefs offering Pioli a contract extension, at exactly his lowest point of fan popularity, have all been vehemently denied by the organization. On top of these nuggets of good news, we have a winnable game against the always fun-to-hate Raiders at Arrowhead this week. So, are you excited?

I can tell what you're thinking, and I know. I know, I know, I know. The season's over, the team sucks and they should just keep losing so we can draft a real quarterback next year. How can I be excited about this crappy team? How can I even be expected to care?

Well, truth is that I'm not here to spread hope and joy. I'm not a professional, I'm just a fan, and I'm just as upset as all the other fans. My objective today isn't to fart rainbows into your morning coffee- not only because that sounds really gross and frightening, but also because I'm fully aware of how hopeless this season feels. But even after such disappointment, there is reason to be excited for this game. Problem is, the reason to be excited is, itself, disappointing.

By now, you've either noticed a lot of Chiefs fans that want the team to suck in order to improve the draft position, or you've become on of them. Whether you want the team to lose enough to pick up Geno Smith next year, or you're holding onto hope and still rooting for a wild card spot, you'll soon be disappointed. The simple truth is, this team has way more talent than the average NFL bottom-feeder, and winning a few more games is inevitable. The Chiefs still have two Raiders games on their schedule, as well as home games against the Panthers and Colts, and a very winnable game in Cleveland. With a schedule like that, they'd have to be trying to lose in order to avoid three or four more wins. That puts the Chiefs at 4-12, at worst. Other teams with tougher schedules will have worse records than that by season's end, putting them ahead of Kansas City in drafting order. That means no Barkley, no Geno, no elite quarterback for the Chiefs next year.

That's right folks- the Chiefs will even suck at sucking. Doesn't it all sound like a bad joke? Cheering for KC is so awful that they can't even make us happy when we want them to be terrible. So, why be excited about a meaningless game against two awful teams in the middle of hopeless seasons? Because an exciting game against a hated rival is all we're going to get, and hope is still a distant speck on the horizon. There will be no losing hard enough to ensure getting our pick at QB next year, and with Cassel being benched that means it's time for some *gulp* rebuilding with a new, mediocre quarterback.

This is assuming Scott Pioli won't trade up in the draft, which to some would seem like an unfair assumption. Many have hope, even automatic confidence that he'll make moves to get the #1 or #2 quarterback in the draft. I'd love to have that kind of faith, but until Pioli employs anything more than his usual boring, conservative tactics, I'll keep on assuming. So now, we're talking about these Jason Campbell, Matt Flynn, Kevin Kolb kind of guys that are happy to be starting anywhere, so long as they aren't the guy holding the clipboard. That may be fun for a while, but it will be a Band-Aid on a bullet wound to the stomach. So, let's just sit back and enjoy the aura of mystery surrounding Brady Quinn this week. Savor that new QB smell for a moment, before he explains to us all why he failed to win a starting job anywhere else. For this week, he gets the Rich Gannon treatment. It's all the fans' what-if's and pipe dreams, suddenly becoming a reality. With little to root for these days, that should be something we can all embrace and enjoy, at least for a day. Because, who knows? Maybe he's the guy, this determined, studious 1^st round draft pick. There's no knowing for sure until he gets a chance, and today is the day he gets it. So yeah, there's reason to be excited. Hope is gone, but today there's potential for some serious entertainment. Isn't that all you can hope for, after the games become technically pointless because all hope is gone? So please, appreciate the game this afternoon, and don't let this cloud of disappointment ruin today's entertainment. It's the Raiders at Arrowhead and we've got a new QB. Enjoy it.

Until then, let's take a closer look at today's competition- the Joker to our Batman, the Ivan Drago to our Rocky Balboa, the reviled, revolting Raiders.

This Oakland team is erratic and unpredictable. With a competent quarterback to run the show, the Raiders offense is clearly more potent than it's been in prior years. Their offense is 9th league-wide in passing yards, but their rushing attack is second to last behind Darren Mcfadden. Oakland's offense showed potential in their 34-31 win against Pittsburgh, in which Palmer completed 70% of his passes for 3 TDs and Mcfadden averaged 6.3 yards a carry. But, they showed inconsistency in Miami, where Mcfadden had 11 carries for 22 yards, and Denver, where the Raiders scored only two field goals. Their secondary is struggling, their rushing defense ranks near the middle of the pack, and the defense has mustered only 7 sacks in 6 games. There is admittedly more talent in black and silver than we have seen for several years, but nothing extraordinary is happening in Oakland. New coaching, new quarterback, same old mediocrity for Raiders fans.

Usually this would be my time to poke fun, to use demeaning nicknames and make crude jokes about our bitter rivals. At this point, though, I could go to a bar in Kansas City, overhear a drunk guy talking about how his beloved Raiders suck year after year with no hope in sight, and easily mistake him as one of my own. That is the ultimate fear. Only after looking deep into the soul of your enemy can you truly understand yourself. I think some smart, famous person said that, I'm not sure, but it's applicable to this situation. Look hard at the past few years of Raiders football. Since 2007, they have 30 wins in total. Now, look at that same time-frame for the Chiefs. Go ahead, count 'em up. That's 27 wins. 27 wins in five years. Let me put it another way: the Kansas City Chiefs, UNDER SCOTT PIOLI'S COMMAND, spent the last five years sucking more than the Raiders. Hell, that's not the ultimate fear. The fear has become reality, and now it is the ultimate evidence of how awful the Pioli Regime has been for Kansas City.

A few weeks ago, following a loss against the Chargers, I shared an opinion on this blog that a particular point in that game was the worst moment for fans since Pioli took over. While that was not untrue at the time, I learned a valuable lesson from saying something that weighty so early in the season. Honestly, every moment since then has been worse. The bad play makes the constant bad breaks all-the-more jarring, and vice versa. Trying to think of a single moment so far seems pointless, but it makes me wonder; could anything be worse than a loss this week, at home against the damn Raiders? It would be bad, but at least now I'm wise enough to say that it couldn't get worse. Hopefully, this newly found wisdom will aid me this week in my commonly unsuccessful five predictions.

1. I refuse to believe this team is mentally downtrodden enough to play lazy against the Raiders. With only a few practices to prepare him, Quinn fights through a shaky defense with a wobbly offense and wins a close game, 27-23. The Chiefs defense makes a big hold late to end it, giving Arrowhead a reason to really explode for the first time this year.
   
   
2. Oakland is trying to avoid their ugly traditions by avoiding penalties and limiting turnovers. The Chiefs haven't won the turnover battle in a single game this year, and only last week against the Bucs could they keep the ratio even. Look for these disturbing trends to continue with the installment of a new Chiefs QB. Kansas City ends the day with a -2 turnover ratio, and still wins.
   
   
3. Javier Arenas is making me complain about him much less nowadays. Look for him to improve his average yardage this week with some broken tackles on punt returns. I'd still put Devon Wylie in his place, though.
   
   
4. With all the magical possibilities that come with a new starting QB, there come twice as many possibilities for disaster. Expect at least one interception from Mr. Popular today.
   
   
5. In the name of tradition, the Raiders commit at least two egregious penalties to continue drives for KC. You still suck, Oakland. Don't ever forget it.

Arrowhead Angst

 Last Sunday's game against the Chargers was an important moment in Chiefs football history. It wasn't pretty, but it was definitely important. The exact moment came with about three minutes left in the second quarter. The offense was succeeding only in giving the bad guys the ball, and the defense was getting gouged for huge pass plays. Three turnovers prior to this point, including two from the team's savior Jamaal Charles, guaranteed an uphill battle.

Then Matt Cassel throws another bad pass that's tipped for another interception, his second of three in the game. Donald Butler runs the pick back for a 21 point lead, and every heart in Chiefs Nation sinks.

This moment marked the lowest point for fans in the Scott Pioli era. Firing Todd Haley mid-season brought plenty of fear and uncertainty to a justifiably cynical fan-base, but it was matched almost immediately with hope for the future. That hope has now been extinguished with a miserable start to a critical season. By starting the year with three embarrassing losses in four games, the Chiefs have made the reality of their incompetence painfully clear.

The upcoming weeks are going to be nasty. Most of the reporting on defensive schemes and rookie progress will be overshadowed by rumors about the most important men in the franchise getting fired. Talk will shift from “Will Devon Wylie ever be a key contributor to this offense?” to “What does Romeo/Pioli/Cassel have to do to keep his job?” and then, possibly, to “Would Bill Cowher coach here?” Fans will spill their hatred out onto the forums with no remorse. The online petitions to “can Cassel” will be innumerable by season's end. And here's the worst part about all the hate: nobody can blame Chiefs fans for a second.

At some point in the coming weeks, depending on when and where Clark Hunt makes major changes, the chatter about firing this guy and hiring that guy will begin. Eventually, someone will say the two most obscene, vulgar words ever heard in Kansas City- "rebuilding process." It hurts my soul just to type such an awful phrase. The process means bad football for at least a full season. It means new coaches arguing with new coordinators, and most importantly, it means wasting the primes of this roster's most talented players. Chiefs fans have been waiting patiently through these processes since Scott Pioli's arrival. This isn't baseball- an NFL franchise cannot spend five years rebuilding without losing fans. Paramount to all other concerns is the sickening silence in Arrowhead to start the second half last week. Fans weren't exactly satisfied with the product on the field last year, but the home crowd was still rarely quiet. At least they cared enough to boo with enthusiasm.

So before everyone dives into the non-football football talk, let's take a minute to look at the game that put Kansas City in this very uncomfortable position.

Sunday's game against San Diego was not a blowout, and that is what makes it the ugliest game of the season so far. The story begins and ends with turnovers, with two fumbles from Jamaal, one from Shaun Draughn, and three interceptions from Matt Cassel. The first three turnovers, including a pick thrown by Cassel on the opening drive, came in the first 21 minutes of play and gave San Diego the ball within the KC 30. The fourth was a pick-six. What followed should have been another boring blowout, but thanks to an exhausted Chiefs defense making stop after stop, Kansas City found themselves in perfect comeback position in the second half.

This defense limited the damage from five first-half turnovers, then forced three consecutive 3-and-outs in the 3^rd quarter to give the offense great field position and several opportunities to close the gap. Then, with inaccurate passing and his signature 4 yard throws on 3^rd and long, Matt Cassel handed the ball over to Philip Rivers' offense, over and over and over again. This pattern of the offense flopping after the defense holds strong for them isn't something only an expert can see. It's the same formula for bad football this Chiefs franchise has shoved down their fans' throats all season long. And it all comes back to Matt Cassel.

Cassel has problems finding wide open receivers, and when he does, he overthrows them. He can't handle pressure and he loves to check it down on long 3^rd downs. When coaches are asked about Cassel, they spend the majority of the time politely commenting on his ability to manage the game and avoid turnovers. This year, he's guilty for 7 picks and 3 fumbles in four games. Everything about Matt Cassel makes him unqualified to lead this offense. And yet, Scott Pioli insists he's the man to take Kansas City to the Super Bowl.

After firing two head coaches and decimating the Chiefs front office, Cassel is still Pioli's Golden Boy, completely untouchable, regardless of how much he holds this team back. I'll have more on Pioli later this week; the ugly situation he's putting this entire franchise in deserves its own article. So, before I start demanding heads on pikes, let's take a look at the upcoming action on the field. If you think this tough match-up against Baltimore comes at the worst possible time, you aren't alone.

The Ravens are an evolving team, what with Joe Flacco showing huge improvement and the notoriously dominant defense growing old. Baltimore sits at 3^rd in the NFL in yards gained, and Flacco is 3^rd among all quarterbacks in total passing yards. But, the once-terrifying Ravens D is 23^rd in overall yards allowed and 29^th in passing. Unfortunately, since Cassel only trusts himself enough to consistently target two guys on the field (Bowe and Charles), that shouldn't matter much. Let's take a look at my five reasonably cynical predictions for Sunday.

1. Chiefs fans in Arrowhead can only shake their heads in shame, as Flacco burns the defense down the middle (another disconcerting trend), and Ray Lewis turns Cassel into blood-soaked, flesh-colored jelly. Maybe that last part is my repressed rage surfacing as macabre daydreams, but you get it. Chiefs lose, 37-16.
   
   
2. This game looks to be one-sided, and an early deficit will make the Chiefs way more pass-happy than anyone would like to see. This means Cassel spends the day throwing into the teeth of a cover defense while avoiding a heavy blitz on passing downs. That means turnovers. Plus, have I mentioned how Matt Cassel stares down his intended receiver every single mother-flopping time he throws the ball? Yeah, it's a problem. The Ravens have forced six fumbles and four picks already, so expect Matt to continue his crappy year with two more costly turnovers.
   
   
3. Eric Berry had an awful time covering Antonio Gates last week, and was called for blatant interference in several key moments of the game. Look for the similarly beefy Dennis Pitta to give #29 fits and record his fourth game with five receptions this season.
   
   
4. Tamba Hali gets pumped up in games like this, when all seems lost and the Chiefs are the town's laughing stock. Not even Sandra Bullock can save Michael Oher from Hali's blitz today. Tamba gets at least one sack and four hits on the quarterback.
   
   
5. I'm putting the over/under for Bowe pointing to his own name at 1.5 for the season. Since I expect a bad loss, there should be plenty of garbage time for Bowe to rack up stats, so today I'm going with over. The team's 1-3 you idiot, knock it off.

Not many uplifting predictions, I know. It's not a very uplifting season either, damn it. But if all this disappointment seems like too much to take, do me this favor:

Relax, take a deep breath, and say Ropati Pitoitua five times fast. Seriously. It helps. Don't judge me until you've said it out loud.