And Then Things Got Worse

So here we are, everyone- the mid-way point of the season. Usually, I feel nostalgic and wistful, a bit sad even, at this time of the year. In years past, as I looked back at the 8 games of competitive football gone by all-too-soon, one might find me gazing longingly into the sky, trying desperately to cherish every game-winning drive and clutch defensive stop while it was all still fresh in my memory. One might even catch me in a state of semi-mourning of all the good football gone by. I can hear it now, a younger me, saying that sentence for what must have been the hundredth time-

“ Is the season really half-way over?”

There was a much different feeling about that sentence back then. It was a feeling of loss, a reminder to appreciate what you had when you had it, and it made me thrilled to see what the rest of the year had in store for my beloved Chiefs.

It's not like that this year. Not at all. Way back in the ancient time of 2005, a guy named Trent Green had a 4,000+ yard season. Larry Johnson was turning into an elite running back, long before leaving football for a full-time career in being sleazy and offensive. Point is, there were plenty of good moments to look back on from those years. And what do I have to reminisce about this year? Every single second that resulted in a non-stop, record breaking streak of football inadequacy. You must have heard that stat by now, about the Chiefs going the longest time without a lead since 1940. The first time I heard it, I thought “Wow, that's awful. I wonder what crappy team sucked harder than us, back then in the freaking FDR years, a year before the attack on Pearl Harbor.” But, stupid me, turns out 1940 is actually just the time they started keeping track of that kind of stuff. There aren't any statistics for that kind of thing before 1940.

Do you get what I'm saying here? Did you catch the levity of all that? There is no record of any football team ever sucking as hard as the Chiefs have sucked this year. That is now an inarguable fact. Thanks for the memories, Pioli.

So forget looking at the recent past- let's try to be optimists here, and look into what could go right in the upcoming future. It's time for me to start tackling all the what-ifs and fan hypotheses swirling about, concerning what's going to happen to this sinking ship, after the tsunami of this season is done with it. What parts of it will be salvaged, if any, and how should the full restoration be constructed? Most, if not all of these conversations and debates revolve around four broad questions:

Who will the general manager be?

Who will the head coach be?

Who will the starting quarterback be? AND

When will these changes/decisions be made?

Now, I won't try to tackle everything right now, that's crazy. That would be a book, not an article. My love for this team knows no bounds, but I think I'll save the novel for a winning season- or at least not a historically bad one. Also, spending all my positive energy to pontificate all that at once would be wasteful, not to mention exhausting. So for both of those reasons equally, I'll take on a little bit of one big topic at a time. This week, I'll look at the quarterback situation, examining one potential QB scenario at a time. If that seems lazy or half-assed, please try to remember that I have two reasons for this, and only one of them is selfish. We're going to spread the hope thinly, folks. We're running low, nowadays.

In critiquing and theorizing on these QB possibilities, I want to ask the important questions. Yeah, more questions, I know. What can I say? In a season like this, there's lots of questions, and the answers seem extinct. Just ask the coach, “I Dunno” Romeo. Anyways, in these segments I'll try to answer a series of questions regarding each prospective QB, in order to assess if he would be a good fit. Then I'll tell you whether I think he'll be a good fit or not, just to be condescending. These are, generally, the questions I'll be trying to answer:

Is he an upgrade? This basically asks if he would be better than Cassel, since I'm sticking with the worst case scenario until anything better than that actually transpires. I also don't think Quinn will/can be better than Cassel, but since we have eight more games to test that theory, the definition of this one is subject to change.

Can he take the Chiefs to the playoffs? Here, I'll make my prediction as to if the QB can take the Chiefs to a divisional title or a wild card berth, and when they could do it.

Is he/ can he be elite? A commonly used and commonly argued about term, here I'll try and predict if the quarterback can ever be one of the very best.

For today, we'll keep our expectations low and examine a scenario where next year's starting QB does not come from next year's draft. We'll keep the Geno/Barkley/Whoever talk for later in the season, when I can better gauge whether or not the Chiefs will suck enough for a top 5 draft. For now, let's take a look at a guy with starting QB experience that is en route to free agency in 2013.

Jason Campbell-

This guy's name is destined to come up often in Kansas City this year. After his appearance in this week's Sunday Night Football game, I probably wasn't the only Chiefs fan typing that name into a search-bar. And since the Bears only signed a one year contract with Campbell, he fits right into the discussion. So hey, he was a career starter until this year, right? And did you see the bomb he threw to Brandon Marshall? Can you even remember Cassel throwing a pass like that? Do you even think he can? Okay, enough questions, it's time for....shit, more questions. Sorry.

Is he an upgrade? Yes, but only by the teensiest margin. His career numbers are slightly better than Cassel's in almost every category. Cassel averages 174.3 yards a game over 76 games played. In 75 games, Campbell averages 193.5 yards a game. Matt has 56 picks and 18 fumbles to remember begrudgingly, while Campbell has recorded 50 picks and 14 fumbles. And, like I mentioned, his arm strength is an upgrade from the current QB, but I dare you to find me a guy not named Pennington that isn't. So, if we can assume Cassel is the unofficial starter for the rest of this bogus season, or we can at least assume Quinn isn't himself an upgrade at QB, this is an improvement. An itsy bitsy improvement.

Can he take the Chiefs to the playoffs? Yes, but not in one year. It would take time, but I have faith that under the right management and coaching, any middle of the road quarterback can take this core group to the postseason.

Is he/ can he be elite? No, and the same will apply to most of these guys we would hypothetically get via trade or free agency. If you want an elite quarterback, you have to draft him. Pioli.

Will he get the fans excited? More excited than seeing Cassel? Let's go ahead and assume that's automatic for everyone I discuss here. Since that shouldn't be the bar we're setting, no, this would be way too slight of an improvement to give the fans any serious hope for the future. Picking up Campbell means looking for hope in the 2014 draft. Awful.

Is he a good fit? No, but it's barely his fault. I feel like he could take a different team to do good, not great things. But, combining his lack of confidence based on a shaky history- a history that shows that he's unable to reach the upper echelons of NFL quarterback- and a mixture of the Chiefs' own inadequacies and self-loathing would give Campbell all the opportunities necessary to fail.

I'll have more prospective QBs coming up, but for now I'll end this exceedingly long post with my five predictions for tonight's prime-time match-up against the Steelers. Yep, thing should get ugly.

1. Pittsburgh has an elite defense and a Todd Haley-built passing attack that ranks 9^th in the league in yardage. The Kansas City offense is hobbling and confused, and a normally underrated defense is showing signs of either fatigue or resignation. There are also more holes in the secondary now, especially with Arenas making his first start at the #2 cornerback spot. Maybe some people think this will turn out like the Packers game last year- an unexpected win against a powerful opponent to raise morale, just when things can't get any worse. Things will get worse, trust the pattern. Chiefs lose in a blowout, 34-13.

2. Cassel will have to pass it around to avoid this harsh Steelers run defense. Expect at least three more pass plays than run plays total, which means at least two turnovers.
   
   
3. With a banged up front line, the Steelers pass rush will make things difficult all day long. Cassel gets knocked down at least 7 times, and gets sacked at least twice.
   
   
4. Edgar Jones has done serious work as a relative nobody on the special teams squad. Look for all 260 pounds of him to come barreling down the field for two more tackles on punts today. There will be plenty of punting, so he'll get his chances.
   
   
5. Jamaal Charles' head falls off his shoulders in between plays. Just falls right off. Seriously, if I once again find myself wondering what else could go wrong, fate may do it to spite me.